Conquering fear

Without fear there cannot be courage.  

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. 

He who has overcome his fears will truly be free. 

It's better to die laughing than to live each moment in fear. 

In time we hate that which we often fear.

There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't.

I'm afraid of a few things. Some rational, some not. Some we've covered in the past. . . 

Some we've not touched on. . . popsicle sticks give me the willies. Cornstarch is ok as long as I don't accidentally squeeze it. Certain types of paper napkins make me want to run for cover, you know, the kind that almost squeak when you touch them. And don't get me started on greasy fingers. . . 

But some fears, those of the new, those of the unknown, need to be conquered. In this case, I was forced to face my fears head on. A few days ago we picked crate after crate of beautiful firm earthy beets and I could delay no longer.

 Yep, its the pressure canner. I put it on my Christmas list, received it as a gift from my parents last year, and haven't touched it since. For some reason I found it intimidating. Maybe because after opening it my mom warned "be careful". And my mother-in-law added "can't those blow up?". And my friend said "promise to text me after you use it to let me know you're ok". Really. 3 warnings from 3 different people. Maybe because I don't generally use recipes, I tend to sway from the recommended directions for use and I'm really not all that patient. But botulism isn't something I want to experience, nor do I want my lovely beets to be wasted...I really love beets. Reminding myself that I rearrange people-parts for a living and I was being ridiculous, it was time to buck up, gather my manuals and take the plunge. 

Batch #1. Carrots. I started small, I only picked a small batch to 'feel things out'. They turned out great, however our well water left quite a film on the jars so I learned to add vinegar to the following batches. 10 fingers, 10 toes, eyebrows and vital organs intact... a success!

Batch #2. #3. #4. Beets. And more beets. Enough beets for an army, even after playing 'one for me, one for you' as I peeled them. When you live in a house where the fridge is always full of goat cheese, beets are a staple. My confidence grows. I realize my new canner is nothing like the canners of days gone by; it has plenty of safety mechanisms in place and the worst thing that can happen is a bad seal.

Beautiful zucchini relish, full of peppers and sweet onions. I immediately put a rump roast in the oven for sandwiches and this did not disappoint. I used 'Magaret Hawes' zucchini relish recipe from 'Putting Food By', the canning bible that was recommended to me. Thanks Margaret!

Canning is messy. And time-consuming. My kitchen threw up. But the chickens got lots of treats that day, beet tops, pepper bottoms, peels galore. Being the stubborn multi-tasker that I am, I decided it would be a good idea to make zucchini bread, while I was shredding, so I made 6, sweetened only with honey. And a vanilla cream cheese spread. And a batch of ricotta. And a berry tart. And mixed a few batches of herbed chevre. And started picking apples. Then I realized we are still just a household of two and started giving it all away.

Fall is near

The old laying hens are teaching the younger hens a lesson. We're certain now the colorful chicken we acquired is, in fact a rooster. One morning we thought we heard a garbled 'cock-a-doodle-do' coming from the chicken coop but weren't positive as our neighbors' bantams scream bloody hell every morning. I opened the door to fill the feeder one evening and I saw it- undisputable evidence that the pretty chicken with the iridescent blue feathers is a 'he'. A very happy 'he' at that. 

We hope to have a few more stolen moments at the lake with the fishing poles. My mom informed me that the farmers almanac warns of a bitter cold brutal winter. I guess we're due...

Cool nights and the full moon brought about some changes about the farm. We officially gave up on the garden, the ragweed won in the back field and we cut our hay again in preparation for winter. Again, like every past year, we lament, we need a bigger barn.

Fair season came and went. I was reacquainted with one of my great loves, 3 times. 

The tractor pull went on.

And on....and on....

The boys are gearing up for the rut. Beards are beginning to yellow, they favor playing and showing off over lounging in the sun now. One last hoof trimming this weekend to get us though breeding season, they are not pleasant to handle when in full rut. Not that they're aggressive, they continue to be big babies who want to snuggle and rub against you but it loses some of its endearing quality when they are sticky with musk and urine and can't resist the urge to spray anything within reach. 

Massey had the first heat cycle of the year, just this morning. Breeding today would have given us late January babies so we decided to wait until the next cycle, generally a predictable 21 days from now. So usually the girls will hang out at the fenceline, butt first, wagging their tails enthusiastically and bellowing to me in the house. Massey, a bit of a chunk, must've gotten tired so she just decided to nap next to Mickey and gaze lovingly at him for a good part of the afternoon. Look closely, he's smiling!

Garden disasters

“All sorrows are less with bread. ” 

― Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

I had to take some time to practice my skills...after all, the great wheat harvest of 2013 is right around the corner.

See it? Look closer...under the ragweed and the queen anne's lace. 

There's one! One of these years we're going to suck it up and use weed killer before planting. "We can handle it", "it's not that big an area", "we just need to keep up with it." Yeah right. . .

“Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that theyare gods.” 

― Christopher Hitchens

Annie-cat making a rare appearance by the house. She stayed just long enough to attack Hemi and roll around in the grass before retreating to the barn. She's a nasty one. She likes the warmth of my giant puffer coat during kidding time though, and often crawls on my lap, swatting like a maniac if I dare shift or disturb her. 

“Sometimes just to touch the ground is enough for me, even if not a single thing grows from what I plant.” 

― Andy Couturier

Whoever Andy is, he's full of shit. I'm bitter and angry that my peppers look like this. Notice: no peppers.

"A weed is but an unloved flower.” 

― Ella Wheeler Wilco

Who needs tomato cages? Mine barely reach the first rung. Worst garden ever. Most of the dirt washed out of our raised beds, causing the plants to drown and yellow in the residual clay soil.

One apple tree is so loaded it has arched right into the ground.

The other played buffet to the passing deer.

This is the lone surviving hanging basket for the year. Pretty typical for August 1st. I thought this year was the year I'd keep them alive, given the non-stop rain that made watering less of a chore. Oops. . . 

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Erma Bombeck 

Shhhhhh Erma. . . I didn't kill the zucchini!

My sis bought special imported zucchini seeds that grow primarily flowers and fewer fruits. We are definitely reaping the benefit of all those blossoms. Of course, they are best fried. Does that somehow defeat the purpose of growing vegetables I wonder?

We caught a swarm in the apple tree the other day, hopefully the new bees are setting up shop here and will establish a hive that we can add to our apiary. 

Freakishly large sage leaves, mild and sooo tasty.

First year for these blackberries, now to keep the birds away until they're ripe. . . 

New fruits on a 2 year old plum tree. Deer don't like plums as well as apples, I hope?

These can go in the 'hard to kill' category. My tabletop 'pinterest' display is doing well.

Also hard to kill. They are the only plant in this bed not being choked out by invasive little flowering vines.

 “The sunflower is mine, in a way.” 

― Vincent van Gogh

Somehow, he's right. But for me, these are a little taste of vacation. . . I think next year we'll scrap the wheat and plant the entire back field in sunflowers. They are certainly beautiful and thankfully tall enough to overcome the multitude of weeds that surround them.

The good, the bad and the ugly

“The rain to the wind said, You push and I'll pelt.' They so smote the garden bed,  That the flowers actually knelt, And lay lodged--though not dead. I know how the flowers felt.” ~ Robert Frost

Rain.

More rain. 

Rain is all three. Good, bad, ugly. Good for the hayfield, good for the lawn, the aquifer and the birds. Bad when it  floods the fields and the driveway and hovers at ankle level in areas muddled with multi-species poop. (this is starting to feel like a country song) Ugly when it continues for 16 days and even the goats are crabby and tired of laying in damp ick. The garden drowned, pepper plants are laid out flat with scraggly yellow leaves pining for sunshine, the tomatoes don't look much different than they did when I put them in the ground. Mosquitoes are thriving and slowly sucking the life out of us which makes porch time uncomfortable and brief. But eventually the rains ended, the puddles dried and we hurried to cut our hay during the week long heat wave that followed. We were thankful to put away 400 bales last week, not to shabby for a bunch of city folk.

Hay is GOOD. Always.

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If you go to Gettysburg and take the time, maybe take a tour, maybe just drive around, read some of the monuments, read some of the plaques, you will come away changed. ~ Jeff Shaara

Gettysburg is good. My mom, sister and I revisited the town for the 150th anniversary, almost exactly 20 years after our first trip there. 

Also good was the national park services' efforts to restore the 'battlefield' to its appearance at the time of the civil war. Encampments, reenactments, hospitals and even the landscape down to the fences and trees were reflective of 1863. 

Good and bad were the thousands upon thousands of dedicated reenactors who descended on the town. Obviously knowledgeable and dedicated but a little odd in that they seemed to have......expectations. Some acted as though they were deserving of a fan club. Some clearly still live with mom...in the basement. 

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“Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.”Jim Davis, 'Garfield'

Which of these things is not like the other? Looks like a zucchini snuck into the watermelon patch. It was white inside, seeds as large as pumpkin seeds and a sweet watermelon-ish smell. Any ideas? Nothing I planted. We are one week into the zucchini harvesting season and I'm already over it. Zucchini is quickly moving from the 'good' column into the 'bad' column. 

Zucchini blossoms, however, are GOOD. Very good. I have fried at least 4 batches in finely ground farina and beer, along with some freakishly large sage leaves from the garden. The season is short, and fresh is the only way so we make the most of it.  

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“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.” ― Charles M. Schulz

Chocolate is GOOD. This is our favorite. We always have a bar in the house, one square after dinner every day, it even has an assigned spot near the napkin holder. 

Chocolate is BAD, when your 'big' dog steals hamburger buns and inadvertently knocks down the chocolate and your 'little' dog eats it, foil and all. A little peroxide, a little barfing, a little activated charcoal and a little lethargy later, Tinder is doing a-Ok now. 

Kaelyn is still waiting for her mimosa. She also turned 11 last week and we've been so busy we haven't made it to Dairy Queen yet. Soon, Kaelyn, soon...

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“Inside a barn is a whole universe, with its own time zone and climate and ecosystem, a shadowy world of swirling dust illuminated in tiger stripes by light shining through the cracks between the boards. ” 
― Carolyn Jourdan

Progress is GOOD. Constant reorganizing and remodeling and flip-flopping form over function resulted in a new / old sink and new cabinetry in the barn. Still waiting on concrete. Not having our own concrete truck and having to rely on contractors who have no set schedule = BAD.

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“People don't know how chickens can turn on you, but they can -- just like mad dogs.” 
― Mary Ann Shaffer

Eggs are GOOD. New birds have been integrated with old, Calvin Klein played an integral role again. The black bird in the back? Last years' penguin chick 'freebie'. Doing well. 

Chickens are birds. Birds are BAD. Terrifying. We are starting to wonder if the pretty one in front is a rooster. It is very tall and very colorful, no way in hell I'm getting close enough to check. 

A new chicken yard is GOOD. They now have rotating pastures so fresh greenery and bugs are always at the ready. 

Home grown chicken is GOOD. And tasty. 5 weeks to go!

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“In summer the empire of insects spreads.” ― Adam Zagajewski

Flies are BAD. And UGLY. Really #$%^^&* BAD!!! My fly swatter has seen better days. I go on a daily rampage. I can't work, eat or sleep with annoying vermin buzzing around my head. Where there are livestock, there are inevitably flies. Where there are pets going in and out, there are flies. Where there is a dead mouse stuck under your garage step, there are flies. All attempts at fly control have failed us. Any suggestions???

Is he laughing at me?