A comedy of errors - Part 1

I have a confession. I may have been an accessory to an assault. Claire was in heat, I'm sure of it. I only held her collar, and then a lead, and then a leg, and then two legs and then grabbed 2 other adults to help hold her down while 'Cow' had his way with her. I couldn't find it in myself to feel bad for her since I was sweating, dirty and covered in buck urine (among other things) by the time I loaded her back in the trailer.

Sweet little Claire, in her younger years, always a jumping bean. I should have known...

She had been in heat all day, flagging (tail wagging) and flirting at the fence.  I had planned to cart her 45 min away to MRKF farms to breed her to a lovely older buck named Fargo. You see, Claire hasn't been out of the barn since she was a young kid, so she was a little freaked out about her 'date'. I knew we were in for trouble when I walked her over to the love-shack and she tucked her tail under and started curling into herself and looking for a way out. No flagging, no flirting, just sheer terror. 30 minutes of wrestling, flipping, deer-like leaping, twisting, crying and flailing later, I had surrendered and Fargo fell out of love.

Luckily, there was another impressively pedigreed buck available, a young striking holstein-esque buckling fittingly named 'Cow'. Hoping Claire would be less intimidated by a smaller buck, we introduced them, only to have the same result. 3 adults, two goats and the goats were winning 10:1. After yet another struggle, the humans (and Cow) prevailed and I hoisted her back on to the trailer. Now we wait 21 days for a 'take' and hope to hell we don't have to repeat this fiasco. As I pulled out of the driveway, my phone *pinged* with an incoming message from Rog.

S  H  I  T. . . . 

Elina was also in heat, so Rog's task when I was gone was to breed her to Capone. Capone, though huge, has always been kind of a sissy but boy does he like to show off when he gets the girl. He roars with an imposing lion-like quality and focuses more on keeping the other bucks away from his prize. The buck stalls are separated by a wall of 2" x 6"s to prevent fights. Well, not any more. . .

He blasted right through it, sternum first to pick a fight with Bugs and Mickey, tearing bolts from the walls, splintering wood, sending water buckets and hay into the air with a flourish. Queen Elina just stood mesmerized in the corner, starry eyed and wondering where her soul mate disappeared to. After they got a solid fight in and exhausted themselves, Rog was able to safely separate them, them commence rebuilding the wall with 2" x 8"s this time!

Did I do that?

I arrived home, unloaded Claire, hurried to the buck barn to survey the damage and check on Capone. He was certainly a little subdued but still blubbering like a fool, beard wet with urine. A little pain shot, a quick check and we were ready to throw in the towel for the night. Over my shoulder I heard a muted maa. . . and Claire trotted up, flagging and making googly eyes at the boys, her breeding trauma forgotten. And there she stood, wagging, flagging, winking, smooching and lingering, late into the night and for the morning that followed. Just when we think we have things figured out, those pesky goats never fail to throw us for a loop.

Gone is the clean shiny coat and flowing white beard. No this isn't a golden guernsey, this is my saanen.  Yes, he was white a few short weeks ago. Yes, that is all urine. Yes, he stinks to high heaven.

Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I please borrow yours? 

Things we do for fun

People often ask "When do you sleep?" Sure, our lives probably seem pretty hectic on paper. And much of the time, they are. Things get prioritized, ie, the lawn is mowed but the shrubs are full of weeds. The barn floor is re-stoned but the sidewalls are still clogged with cobwebs.The new sink is placed in the barn, but isn't connected to anything.

The truth is, we are now entering the 'easy' part of the year. We just went down to once a day milking. With no pigs to feed this year there's no reason to keep pushing the girls into winter, the turkeys can only drink so much. 

I haven't named them yet, like last year, I have no clue if they are male or female. Larry, Curly and Moe? Wynken, Blynken and Nod? Luciano, Placido and Jose?

It is breeding season, the boys are in full rut (rut = stink) and Luna is the first-bred of the year with more following close behind. 

Luna in love

Literally, following close behind. Hussies. . . 

Most of our free time is spent outside, so we don't watch much TV. When we do there are only 2 things we watch. 

We were late on the bandwagon on this one, but all the hype is well deserved. We have been watching on netflix to catch up from season 1, this is definitely not one to start in the middle. Too bad its in the last season now, will need a new hobby this winter. 

This is what  watch when I'm home alone on weekends for background noise when I am catching up on charts. no wonder I'm always behind.

Sometimes we take the time to sit down to a relaxing dinner. It tastes better when everything comes from the backyard. The meat birds went from coop to plate in under 24 hours, can't get any fresher than that! Zucchini (again) and shishito peppers with lime and sea salt are not too freezer-friendly so we eat them frequently. 

Whenever possible we head to Pleasant Hill Lake to spend time on our old boat 'yacht'. Good fishing, good company and the dogs get to swim. Its like a ghost town after Labor Day, so we are enjoying it.

The more frazzled we get, the more we entertain ourselves with stupid things. Like naming carrots. And giggling.

Rebel carrot- got tired of living on the straight and narrow.

Demure carrot.

Biology class carrot.

Sometimes we conquer physics and engineering with good friends.

Sometimes we focus on health food instead.

More often than not, I follow one of the animals around taking pictures.

We taught Kaelyn to eat corn off the cob when she was a puppy. A valuable life skill. 

Rosie spends all of her free time sleeping. 

Can't you just feel her beady little eyes staring right through you?

I spend a fair amount of time scanning Pinterest. I don't think very highly of the 'other' social networking sites but Pinterest is full of useful stuff. 

Like all these beautiful things I pinned to my 'Recipes and Projects for a Rainy Day' and have yet to even think about making one of them.

White peaches in rose water syrup

Slow roasted tomato, basil and goat cheese tart.

Beet jewels.

Blueberry, goat cheese and basil pies.

Often, you just have to throw in the towel. . . . and . . . Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. . . 

Linear Appraisal

This year we signed up for a linear appraisal session, it has been 2 years since the animals were last evaluated by an official ADGA (American Dairy Goat Association) appraiser.

This is an example sheet I found online, not for one of my goats. Basically each animal is appraised on a variety of inheritable traits that should predict structural and functional durability over time as well as their potential for genetic improvement. Things like rump angle and width can help predict capacity as a milker, udder extension and ligamentous support show how a goats udder will hold up over time. Victoria doesn't make push up bras for goats, so we have to try to make genes do all the work.

There are handy dandy photo guides to help those of us who may need a little reminding. The LA session also helps us, as breeders to turn off our 'barn blindness' which sometimes makes us favor certain animals over others and helps to pull out those with hidden potential. 

I'll post official scores on the website on the pedigree pages in the next few months. We were very happy with our results overall, the vast majority of our milkers scored between 87-89, which is in the VG or very good range. Serious long-term breeders shoot for 90 and above, the E or excellent category. It's very tough to achieve, but we're getting there and we've made improvements since our last session 2 years ago, a few of our milkers went up a few points. Everyone involved learned a few things, our appraiser was very informative and complimentary. One of the ending comments was ' you've got a nice little herd here, with a lot of depth'. Overall, a great day and satisfying results. 

Being appraised meant I needed to prep and clip animals, I tried my hardest, but with a busy work week I made it about 1/3 of the way through. Still, we have a website that desperately needs updating so I begged my wonderful beautiful funny and very youthful and patient friend to come over early to help photograph goats. Photographing goats is often an exercise in futility. Bring out the camera and the normally docile animals start freaking out and scatter. As you'll remember from last years photo failures.  Here are a few new ones!

Save a horse...ride a goat.

Ooh look! My shadow looks human!

Catch me if you can!

I will twist my body into any unattractive position imaginable! I said I don't want my picture taken!

Me either! I shall hide my face.

Me too!

And the best part of the day. . . 

Conquering fear

Without fear there cannot be courage.  

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. 

He who has overcome his fears will truly be free. 

It's better to die laughing than to live each moment in fear. 

In time we hate that which we often fear.

There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't.

I'm afraid of a few things. Some rational, some not. Some we've covered in the past. . . 

Some we've not touched on. . . popsicle sticks give me the willies. Cornstarch is ok as long as I don't accidentally squeeze it. Certain types of paper napkins make me want to run for cover, you know, the kind that almost squeak when you touch them. And don't get me started on greasy fingers. . . 

But some fears, those of the new, those of the unknown, need to be conquered. In this case, I was forced to face my fears head on. A few days ago we picked crate after crate of beautiful firm earthy beets and I could delay no longer.

 Yep, its the pressure canner. I put it on my Christmas list, received it as a gift from my parents last year, and haven't touched it since. For some reason I found it intimidating. Maybe because after opening it my mom warned "be careful". And my mother-in-law added "can't those blow up?". And my friend said "promise to text me after you use it to let me know you're ok". Really. 3 warnings from 3 different people. Maybe because I don't generally use recipes, I tend to sway from the recommended directions for use and I'm really not all that patient. But botulism isn't something I want to experience, nor do I want my lovely beets to be wasted...I really love beets. Reminding myself that I rearrange people-parts for a living and I was being ridiculous, it was time to buck up, gather my manuals and take the plunge. 

Batch #1. Carrots. I started small, I only picked a small batch to 'feel things out'. They turned out great, however our well water left quite a film on the jars so I learned to add vinegar to the following batches. 10 fingers, 10 toes, eyebrows and vital organs intact... a success!

Batch #2. #3. #4. Beets. And more beets. Enough beets for an army, even after playing 'one for me, one for you' as I peeled them. When you live in a house where the fridge is always full of goat cheese, beets are a staple. My confidence grows. I realize my new canner is nothing like the canners of days gone by; it has plenty of safety mechanisms in place and the worst thing that can happen is a bad seal.

Beautiful zucchini relish, full of peppers and sweet onions. I immediately put a rump roast in the oven for sandwiches and this did not disappoint. I used 'Magaret Hawes' zucchini relish recipe from 'Putting Food By', the canning bible that was recommended to me. Thanks Margaret!

Canning is messy. And time-consuming. My kitchen threw up. But the chickens got lots of treats that day, beet tops, pepper bottoms, peels galore. Being the stubborn multi-tasker that I am, I decided it would be a good idea to make zucchini bread, while I was shredding, so I made 6, sweetened only with honey. And a vanilla cream cheese spread. And a batch of ricotta. And a berry tart. And mixed a few batches of herbed chevre. And started picking apples. Then I realized we are still just a household of two and started giving it all away.

Fall is near

The old laying hens are teaching the younger hens a lesson. We're certain now the colorful chicken we acquired is, in fact a rooster. One morning we thought we heard a garbled 'cock-a-doodle-do' coming from the chicken coop but weren't positive as our neighbors' bantams scream bloody hell every morning. I opened the door to fill the feeder one evening and I saw it- undisputable evidence that the pretty chicken with the iridescent blue feathers is a 'he'. A very happy 'he' at that. 

We hope to have a few more stolen moments at the lake with the fishing poles. My mom informed me that the farmers almanac warns of a bitter cold brutal winter. I guess we're due...

Cool nights and the full moon brought about some changes about the farm. We officially gave up on the garden, the ragweed won in the back field and we cut our hay again in preparation for winter. Again, like every past year, we lament, we need a bigger barn.

Fair season came and went. I was reacquainted with one of my great loves, 3 times. 

The tractor pull went on.

And on....and on....

The boys are gearing up for the rut. Beards are beginning to yellow, they favor playing and showing off over lounging in the sun now. One last hoof trimming this weekend to get us though breeding season, they are not pleasant to handle when in full rut. Not that they're aggressive, they continue to be big babies who want to snuggle and rub against you but it loses some of its endearing quality when they are sticky with musk and urine and can't resist the urge to spray anything within reach. 

Massey had the first heat cycle of the year, just this morning. Breeding today would have given us late January babies so we decided to wait until the next cycle, generally a predictable 21 days from now. So usually the girls will hang out at the fenceline, butt first, wagging their tails enthusiastically and bellowing to me in the house. Massey, a bit of a chunk, must've gotten tired so she just decided to nap next to Mickey and gaze lovingly at him for a good part of the afternoon. Look closely, he's smiling!